Love - Kal, Aaj

The Sky was blue. The air tasted salty and felt sticky as the turquoise ocean roared beside. The sand grains tickled with every step – the effect heightened by the waves crashing on the feet and receding from below the sand itself. The fronds of the coconut trees tried, as they always had, to make music that doesn’t conform to any scales, but was music nevertheless. The breeze was thick. It made walking in a straight line difficult. Everything appeared so much more beautiful, with you there.

The blue of the vast sky was deep only because I saw it fleetingly behind you…framing your face. The salt in the air didn’t matter; neither did the far stink of the fishes, as they were clouded by the faint smell of your scent. The roar of the ocean and the disharmonious notes of the coconut trees were but shadows of the music of your laughter. The waves that crashed on my feet, attempting to drown me in the receding sands drew not my attention, as all I could feel was the softness of your hand and the whip of your tresses, as we walked close together, hand-in-hand. You, trying to make sure that only you feet got wet, and emitting peals of soft laughter whenever the waves won the battle, without noticing that I was knee-deep in the water. And I, lost in you.

Then, life happened.

You went away. I didn’t want to let you go. You told me that you would be much happier and everything would be much easier if I wasn’t there. I understood. I tried to remove myself from your reality. Twice. I failed because I couldn’t bear to think of any existence, in this world or elsewhere, without you. Or maybe because I was afraid to stop being. By then, you had found a “nice guy” whom your parents liked. I was alone. I was miserable. I was afraid to smile. I couldn’t tell music apart from cacophony. I couldn’t see colours. I hated myself. I hated everyone around me. I lost my friends. I lost my family. I lost myself. I realized how hard it is to fall out of love.

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The large, gray clouds rumbled threateningly. The stink hung so thick in the air that it was overpowering. A pico-second of silence was sorely missed – the noise forming a thick, heavy blanket that caused the very earth to shake. Every muscle in my body was taut, waiting to guide the hunk of a metal I was in whenever a femto-meter of opportunity presented itself. It was war. And I was alone.

Then, I caught your eyes. The breeze from your hand, as you tucked the stray strands of hair behind your ear, seemed to cast off the noise. The imagined whiff of your perfume, highlighted by the barely noticeable goose-bumps on the back of your neck, drained away the stink. The flutter of your eyelashes teased my hunger for the ocean of your eyes. I lost my fight with my muscles, and a smile formed. You were stronger…you smiled only with your eyes. I was no longer an only…and neither were you.

Then, life happened.

The light had turned green. The over-eager bikers rushing by broke the connect first. The new wave of horns was loud enough to make you squirm. I craved not to look away, but I couldn’t ignore the anger of those behind me, manifest as swear words that included everybody’s family members, as they egged me on to move forward by that one millimeter. The circle of life was in motion, but we had defied the world for those fleeting few seconds. We had even managed to prove Einstein wrong, by stretching those meager seconds into a lifetime. I knew it. I knew that you knew it. I didn’t have to look at you to confirm this. I didn’t stop smiling. I knew that you hadn’t either. I realized how easy it is to fall in love.

PS: Jammy, thank you for reading whatever crap I write here. Methinks you are in a one-man club :)